Grrr and Such

Today has not begun auspiciously. I didn't sleep particularly well and found myself awake at 6:15. Nerp. I then realized that I didn't hear the pattering of little feet. My housemate and her son, Cate and Daniel, were not awake. I think they are supposed to be heading out the door at 6:30 to make it everywhere on time. As I pulled on my sweatpants and rounded the corner, I saw that Cate's light was indeed on. She overslept. And apparently, so had Daniel. Yikes! They were out of the door close to 6:30. Amazing. For them. For me, no going back to sleep yet. I did just do about half an hour of meditation. Some really icky stuff bubbled up first, but after a while, it calmed down. Now, I am planning my day.

The icky stuff - love, money, work, mom. Love - not going to get into it just now. Money - sigh. Work - there is a job I would love. Buddhism teaches not to be attached. I do try to attain that. Without trying, obviously. I mean, duh! So, "I don't care," is a thought that I often find myself saying. Actually I say it about a lot of the above mentioned subjects. The job - teaching theatre at Peace College - would be ideal and I would be great at it. There are, no doubt, lots of others who would be a good fit and are probably better qualified than I. So, not caring, not being attached will have to suffice. Putting it out there to the Universe and letting the cards fall where they may. Goodness, I love cliched phrases!

Mom - I just get depressed thinking about her and her declining mental abilities. Sigh.

But I choose not to dwell on the ickiness. I like to acknowledge that it exists, take it out for a walk and see how I feel and what is going on with it, but I do like mostly to ignore the bad stuff and focus on the good stuff. Or just the perfection of minute to minute nowness.

That being said, I also like to have some semblance of an idea about what I would like to happen. I am a planner. I am sure I have written this before, and I am sure I will write it again. I like to have a plan. The plan does not have to be detailed, nor include options for every eventuality. It just is pleasant if it is there.

Today's plan: get up, play a bit, do my morning stuff (self cleaning, yoga), work in the basement/playroom (Daniel won't be helping today, so might as well get some done while he is at school), eat lunch, more something - maybe work on my self help book - then at around 2:15 head out to pick Daniel up and take him to meet his mom at Atomic Hair Salon in Raleigh. After dropping him off, to the Saucer go I. I have two coupons that are really old and I hope I can still use them. I am notorious for not using coupons. I have two or three living social coupons that I am actively not using - house cleaning, a massage, and a Segway tour. Sigh. Anyway, Saucer for a bit and then food shopping. I have gotten it into my head to make sushi tonight - rolls actually - I am thinking California and maybe Spicy Tuna. Either with a friend or at home - it doesn't really matter to me on a cellular level. :) I know which I would prefer, and that suffices. Then, sushi and whatever the night holds. That's my plan. And if it doesn't happen that way, it will still be a good day.

Oh, one thing I am going to do later today is post yesterday's pictures!