Rocking on!

Got another music book - and this is exactly what I was looking for. It is still PVG but the arrangements just seem better. And there are a lot of the classic songs. Yay! I just tried Money and the base rhythm is there. How cool is that? I think the tally is four down, one to go!

I have started the moving/sorting/cleaning process a bit earlier than I thought I would. Yessterday I unpacked three boxes of books and culled out about a third of them to sell. Not including the Britannica set I have - including lots of Books of the Year. Don't really know what to do with those. Any suggestions? At least it was a start. I hope and plan to do a little bit each day so that I can redistribute two large piles of stuff. There are three large piles of stuff that came from North Carolina (not including the stuff that got squirreled away in the basement and in the attic already) Two out of three isn't bad, right? Maybe when Karl comes, he can help me a bit. Probably not. Whenever he comes, he has his hands still full with his kids (three under the age of 6) and his wife. And mom of course, which is why he comes. We shall, of course, see.

Speaking of whom, he asked to do a home evaluation for the possibility of keeping mom here after she progresses into the last stage of Alzheimer's. I already know that keeping someone here is doable, since we have had other people here who were in various states of decay. So, I'm not sure what he is really after. One of the nurses from the place where we get our aides came and asked me what he was looking for. I tried to explain, but don't think I did it very well. I hope he wasn't looking for the official thingie - that costs money and is only good for six months. Mom could be six months away from the third stage - she could be two and a half years from the third stage. Who the heck knows?

One big task to accomplish today. I can do it! Get to the County Assessor's office and apply for mom's STAR exemption - reduction in taxes. Mom is awake and needs to sign some papers before I head off into the, er, well, it is mid day so sunset or sunrise don't really apply here. Hmm...

Delayed Gratification and The other thing

What is the opposite of gratification? Oh, right, dissatisfaction.

Mind games I play with myself include delaying stuff just because I can. Will power perhaps? In any case, it gets me through the day, playing these games with myself. Heck, I don't have any one else to play them with. Things like - I can do x if I do y first. Or If I do three of z then I can do a. Or I can't do such and so until this or that time unless something extraordinary happens. I do try to always leave myself and out. I mean, who am I beating up, besides myself? I like to be good to me whenever I can be.

I did finally get one of the other music books. I think it was delivered to someone else and they dropped it on the porch for me. It was one of the Pink Floyd books. And it is, sadly, terrible. It is a PVG book - which doesn't do me much good, I don't think. We shall see. I have only flipped through it a few times and not tried to play anything. The music in it is not my favorite Pink Floyd music - it is largely from The Wall. Sigh. I hope the other one comes and that there are more interesting pieces in there. I mean, what is a Pink Floyd book without Money or Time? Or some of the greats from earlier albums? Hmm?

Speaking of piano, I am making some progress on the second movement of The Moonlight Sonata. Not a lot, but the first few parts are beginning to sound like music. There is hope.

Just a quick foreshadowing - moving May.

Breath Holding

I felt like I was holding my breath for all of Friday and most of Saturday. Do you ever feel like that? I tried to remind myself how to breathe - and to breathe - but that didn't help. Only the passage of time helped. Finally, at around 9 on Saturday, I exhaled. Instead of a breath of relief, it was a sigh. Oh well. Life is that way sometimes.

Mom apparently doesn't like brass - the brass section that is, so she opted to not attend the concert last night. Her loss. There were two groups - a brass "choir" (Never heard it called that before) and a classical guitar quartet (which was made up of four people - go figure). They had separate sets, though two of the guitarists helped out on a couple of the brass's pieces. Easy show, all technical things considered. David had to work at the library so I got to run it. With the sound help of a new to the Smith sound person named Terren. He was competent, helpful, polite and nice. And young. A good person to have in our bag of tricks at the Smith. We set up chairs - they brought their own music stands - and set up some microphones for the guitars. Unfortunately we didn't have boomstands - stands that have, er, booms on them - little arms that make is easier to position the mics for different instruments - we need some of those for the Smith, I think. I didn't get much guidance in the way of lighting, so I basically turned most everything on and left it. Strike/reset was easy, though I did move most of the chairs (and put them away under the stage) by myself. How long does it take to coil four mic cables? Sigh.

The show itself was pleasant - the guitar people, classical guitarists from The Eastman School - played four pieces. All were well done. The brass - students from the University of Rochester - but not necessarily music students - played five pieces - the last of which was Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd which was amusing and enjoyable. Rock on bandlets!

Meanwhile, mom at home ate some food I had put aside for her - some chicken salad and some salad salad. I think I didn't eat dinner - except for some brownies and some potato chips. I just wasn't all that hungry.

Late at night, I watched The Green Lantern with Ryan Reynolds. I don't know why, but I just like him. Not like I like Natalie Portman, but still, if RR is in something, I am more inclined to watch it. The movie was great fun. I am not a DC comic fan in general and only knew a little about the Green Lantern mythos going in. I think I know more coming out. If you enjoy science-fiction, comics movies or Ryan Reynolds, this might be a movie you would enjoy. And Blake Lively, well, um, she is not too bad...suffice it to say, I might just have to watch more things with her in it. And the two of them are married! I hope it lasts!! (That's the endless romantic in me...)

Felt Like Saturday and a few epiphanies for good measure

Now why would it feel like Saturday? Maybe because I have to work on the real Saturday? Hmm. But I did get a few things accomplished, despite the Saturday feel of the day.

I called the realtor that my friend Ted had spoken with about working to sell the house in North Carolina. No word from her back, yet.

Speaking of no word, most of the music that I ordered hasn't arrived. The second copy of Rhapsody in Blue did arrive and though it is easier, it still is really hard. I think I will have to wait a bit before delving into it more deeply. Instead, I am working on the second movement of the Moonlight Sonata. And I am thinking of working on the third at some point. Eeek.

I also paid the last bill of the month. Yay. Speaking of which, the city assessors office called and reminded us that we needed to get some paperwork in to apply for money off mom's taxes! How awesome are they and is that? I will try to do that Monday, or at the latest, Tuesday. I neglected to make copies of the tax stuff that Karl did for us. Sigh.

Not much else of note transpired yesterday. This morning I had a bit of a nightmare about working at the Smith. There was a party being prepared and I was hanging out with everyone when I a) missed the person I was currently enamored of and then not much later (in dream time) b) realized that I was late for working at the Smith. The last part of the dream was spent trying to find my black clothing and not being able to. Eeek!

I had a minor epiphany this morning about relationships. I wouldn't mind being the first person that someone else thinks about in the morning and the last person they think about at night. Other than themselves of course. And their blood kin or adopted kin. Or there best friends who might be going through difficult or exciting times. Or their neighbor. Or their goldfish that died four months ago...I know, it is a lot to ask, but it would be nice...

Another small epiphany - about dinner at home for mom when I am not around. I actually had two thoughts. One was that I could order food and have it delivered. There are some difficulties here - but nothing that couldn't be overcome. And the second was I could make something cold and leave it in the fridge for her. I am leaning towards that option for this evening. We shall see.

In rereading the above text, I realized something else that happened. I fell for a TV infomercial. I bought a little drain snake thing that was supposed to grab hair out of my drain. Right. Luckily I didn't pay what was asked on the TV. I found it for $.09 plus a lot of shipping (still cheaper than anywhere else I could find). So, although it doesn't seem to function as advertised (what a surprise), I am not out a whole large chunk of change. Yay!

Broke a plate

I broke a plate while washing dishes yesterday. A concern that I have almost every time I do dishes. I do them by hand - don't really care for dishwashing machines. Dishwashing is misspelled according to Firefox. Really? Anyway, I didn't cry. It wasn't like it was milk or anything. Aren't you proud of me? I am proud of me! I don't like breaking things, but it happens. 

Had a pleasant day, despite the broken plate. I had thought that might be a sign of things to come, a portent even - but it wasn't. Nothing disastrous or momentous occurred. The new aide, who is now not the new aide since she has been here four times, came and did some work around the house. Kept herself busy, which is good. Sometimes, I can't think of things for the aides to do. And sometimes mom can. Go mom!

Took a little walk around the HWS campus running errands. Or should I say walking errands... It was a gorgeous, albeit chilly, day. Nice to actually get outside for a breath of fresh air. I need to do that more often. I still would like a bike to materialize in my life. One will eventually, I am sure.

Saw a movie last night - No Strings Attached - starring Natalie Portman and some guy. I, like many other males, enjoy watching Natalie (may I call her Natalie, or should I say Ms. Portman - do people say Ms. anymore, or does that just help to show how old I am?) do just about anything - even reading the proverbial (or anecdotal) telephone book. I forget how short she is! I am a sucker for Romantic Comedies. Yes, hope springs eternal for me where romance is concerned and movies like this just fuel that inane belief. Back to the movie. I enjoyed it and would recommend it for fans of romantic comedies or fans of Natalie Portman's.

Keep those doggies rollin'

I get a weekly email from TravelZoo - I have yet to book anything I have seen, but the list of their top twenty finds for the week makes me salivate in a most unattractive way. I don't foresee any travel in my near to mid future. I did go to Victor NY today and that almost killed me.

Today was an eye appointment for mom. Silly me, I scheduled it for before lunch. Which meant that mom wasn't at her sharpest or quickest. We made it mostly on time, but only through my consistently reminding mom to keep on with her tasks - eating, bathroom stuff, getting dressed. Both of the shirts that I picked out for her she rejected, leaving us with an unappealing green shirt that she has worn frequently - and didn't, of course, recognize. Getting her dressed is getting to be more of a challenge. Sigh. I did eventually get her into the car and we headed to Canandaigua - there was a slight detour which didn't really delay us too much - just enough to make us 2 minutes late for the appointment. Not too shoddy, actually! A win in my book.

Mom got examined and dilated and her cataract surgery scar tissue got zapped fairly quickly without much waiting and fuss. Yay. Sadly, we have to go back a third time. Grrr. More co-pays.

Now comes the tougher stuff. Being in a car with my mom for almost two hours was not the most pleasant experience I have ever had. She just talked the entire time. Asking questions and making comments. Being the dutiful, validating sort of son I am trying to be, I do my best to answer all of the questions (even the 20th time the question is asked)(why did we go to the eye doctor?) and some sort of acknowledgement of mom's comments and observations. This can get very, very wearing. At least to me. And sprinkle into the conversation talk of money. My favorite of my mom's reactions to my saying that I don't like to talk about money is "Then I can't talk about anything!" Sigh. At one point, I did get a tad more than a little frustrated and snapped at her. At which point she said then she would stop talking. I said good. And she said "Oh, what a pretty tree" and continued on from there. From experience, I know that it takes a good four hours for her to run down.

But we survived our adventurous day. After the eye doctor, we went to Victor to get me some new underwear! Yay! I wanted to go to Target because I dislike supporting Wal-Mart. On the way, we stopped for lunch at a restaurant called Mickey Finn's. Mom said she wasn't very hungry, so we split a delicious Reuben, some cole slaw and a side of onion rings. Pretty tasty!

At the Target, we got mom two new long sleeve shirts. I hope she likes them the next time I get her dressed. She may, she may now. We won't know until it happens. We also got some Aleve because her eyes were hurting - another question that came up a zillion times. All in all, a successful, though loooong, trip.

I went out, briefly, to visit Leaf Kitchen, but looking through the window, I saw that all four bar seats were occupied, so I came home again. Life is that way sometimes.

Trying to keep it simple

I hate talking about money. Really, really hate it. It gets my blood boiling in fact. Mom loves to talk about money. I tend to answer a few of her questions and then remind/tell her that I don't like talking about money. She usually drops it. For a little while.

Other times, she asks questions and I know that the answers don't really make much difference. For instance, paying for the dentist - mom's question - did it cost a lot - my answer - yes. Or no. Depending on my mood. I gave her a dollar amount once and she got all confused. She can't really tell the difference between $10 and $1000.

I just try to keep my answers as simple as I can. And I aim for truth most of the time. Not that it really matters since she, sadly, will probably forget that she asked the question and what the answer was. I mainly want to make her feel as if she has been listened to. And that her questions get answers. Validation. :)

Speaking of hating talking about money, I saw a cool presentation on an alternate financial system - one that does not stem from a debt based economy. Not many details but it sure looked better than the evil system we have now...(I was going to link to the video but can't find it - apparently a decent sized group of people also dislike the current financial system - but changing it isn't going to happen easily (or quickly if ever, sadly))(I love parenthetical comments...)(And ellipses!)

Effective day yesterday - I got a lot done. Fought my way (gently) into two bank accounts online that I haven't accessed in a while (three years for one and at least 5 years for the other). Paid more bills, organized a few papers, put together more Publisher's Clearing House entries...Yay!

Went downtown and watched a friend eat dinner - that was exciting. No, it was, really. Maybe exciting isn't the right word. The evening was way more pleasant than I am making it sound. Anyway, we had a nice time and that is a good thing. Good days - gotta love them! Today, off to the eye doctor and perhaps some shopping. I need some new clothes - underwear especially! (Did you need to know that?)

Rhap Music

As you may (or may not) recall, I moved my stuff from NC to NY. And in that stuff was an electric piano I bought with my well deserved gains from working at Macromedia. Over the years (since 2000) I haven't played it as much as I would have liked. Recently, I set it up in the office in the back of the house next to the xBox. I am now playing a little bit - sometimes quite a little bit - every day. Yay!

Someplace and sometime, I got in my noggin the idea that I would like to learn around 10 piano pieces that I could play with confidence. I was thinking a variety would be nice. The first piece that I have is a piece that I learned (mostly) when I was in 8th grade - goodness that was a while ago - I guess I was 12 or 13 which makes it 40ish years - eeeek - Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin. I am getting better. Picking the other 9 or so hasn't gotten very far, though I do have some ideas.

When I got my "thank you" note from the High School production of Hairspray, I ordered some music from Amazon - Pink Floyd, The Beatles and a copy of Rhapsody in Blue for Piano only. Oh. My. Goodness. This version couldn't have been written with a pianist in mind! There are a few 10 note spreads in the left hand. Eeek! And at a couple of points, it looks like it is necessary to have a second pianist play for awhile. Not helpful. So I ordered another one - that one was arranged by the person who taught Gershwin how to play the piano. Hopefully it will be a little more playable. I need a couple of other pieces - probably a couple of easy-ish classical pieces. We shall, of course, see.

I got nothing done, really, Monday. I had such high hopes and great plans. Instead, the new aide came - I think she is growing on mom - not like a fungus - as in mom is liking her better than she did at first. The aide cleaned mom's bathroom and then helped her to plant the amaryllis that Juliet gave me for Christmas. We are going to see if we can make it work! Yay plants! (This is meant insincerely - I kill plants for a living.) (Ok, I don't - but I do have a black thumb of death where house plants are concerned...)

I did go to the bank and the grocery store. That's productive, right!

Mushed Post

By mushed, I mean a mess of stuff - a glop of a post perhaps. We shall see. Since nothing of earth shattering proportions occurred yesterday, I am just filling space, hoping that a direction will present itself. Or at least a few things worth a few sentences and seconds of all of our times.

David lent me a book called, Don't Sleep, There are Snakes - a book about a man's experiences in the Amazon learning about a people and their language. I can't say that the writing is scintillating - but the information is good, which makes up for the writing, at least so far.

Cooked breakfast for dinner once again for Sunday night. I actually broke down and bought some frozen waffles - but went for gluten free blueberry waffles. Why? Well, I might have a slight gluten intolerance - and I like to try new things. They weren't bad. 

I went to Microclimate last night. I brushed my hair (ouch) and put on a nice looking sweater. A friend mentioned that she would be there. (Same person, not a spy reporting on another person's whereabouts...) I wasn't sure of the etiquette. Since she mentioned the place, I thought it would be ok if I showed up, not strictly invited, but not explicitly disinvited. Being me, I asked and she said it was fine if I wanted to come. It was really quiet and we had a good chat, I think. We might, one day, hit tennis balls together. That would be fun - as long as she doesn't make me dive into the asphalt chasing down a shot...

Ok, went back to sleep and woke up after a bit of an intense dream. I was screaming at my nephews for ignoring mom. Sigh. I don't like screaming - even in my dreams. Maybe I will go back to sleep...

All About Mom - not really...

This is starting off as a post about Mom  - but I am sure other stuff will drift in - it usually does.

The other night, a few of my mother's personalities were flitting around. Sadly, not the happy, pleasant ones for the most part. There are a few of those. She can be charming, funny, interesting, interested. The other night, not so much.

One of the things that Mom does sometimes is make mean little comments. One is about dying my hair - subtle mom. Another is when she sees someone who is slightly overweight, she calls them fat people. Probably loudly enough to be heard. Sigh. And she likes to try (operative word) to make me feel guilty about doing anything outside of the house. She alternates saying that I need to get out so I can make some friends with telling me that I am abandoning her and leaving her to sit all alone at home. Sigh. She wants me to find a relationship, as long as it doesn't take anything away from the time I devote to her. Double sigh. I don't think she can compute that those are contradictory thoughts. And she thinks my brother looked sickly in the picture in the last note he sent to her. He does look sallow and gaunt, but who wouldn't with the schedule he keeps and three kids under 5 at home. Eeek!

Sometimes, I do think I am evil. I am sympathetic towards my mom most of the time in most ways. She has owies, I bandage them and try to say assuaging things. I try to be sympathetic towards her Alzheimer's. But when we go places, I just have a really, really hard time being sympathetic about her inability to be active. I rationalize this by thinking of the choices that she has made and continues to make about her physical health. She does no exercise and takes no responsibility for her breathing issues after smoking for 40 years. One of my pet peeves is people (I include myself, because sometimes I do it too) who do not take any sort of responsibility for their life and where they find themselves at any given now. I am a huge proponent of the notion that "Life is Choice." And we choose what we can - and live with the consequences. And when something happens about which we seem to have no choice, we still have the choice of how to react to that something.

Moving on. Busy-ish day yesterday. Worked at The Smith doing the lights, sound and slide flipping for the Seneca Seven Run meeting. Fun stuff.

And I actually went out on a Saturday night. Luckily, Microclimate was not crowded - not a big one for crowds, am I. Had a few of my favorite of their beers - Moose Thunder - or Moose Poo - or Moo Poo while chatting with a nice group of people - most of whom work at Hobart and William Smith. Yay! Who knows, I might actually find some adult conversation more occasionally. That would be great! Baby steps.

Watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower last night. Overall I enjoyed it. Might even recommend it, though there were some oddities as well. And some might find it too painful in places. The woman, Emma Watson from the Harry Potter movies, was good - and I thought the guy who played Patrick was the same guy who was in the first 14 episodes of Misfits - but it wasn't. Still good, though.

Gotta love the interwebnetsthingy

More scanning must be done to get more stuff up and available on the interwebnetsthingy. As it is, there is a goodly amount of stuff (and such - and nonsense) floating around. Like the manual for the TV. Yay! Once I found the model number, located on the back of the set, it was easy to find a manual for it online. The manual was searchable and had two references to "delete." Click, click, done! Yay! Now mom will have to problems going to channel 8, one hopes. We shall see.

And no, the problem still persists. If someone types in the number, which is what mom does, it still goes to the unwanted, deleted, removed and proscribed channel. Glarg. And I can't get mom to use the channel up/channel down button. Ch apparently has no meaning for her. Poo and double poop on a scoop.

Laundry day! Yay! Four baskets full - true - a lot of bedding was finally washed, but still. Who waits that long to do laundry? This guy, apparently. I went to the laundromat downtown rather than the one in the plaza. I thought I recalled that they had a really, really big washer that might accommodate all four baskets worth of soiled garments. They did, but it didn't. Oh well. Everything did get washed. And then I set mom to folding again. Yippee! She did a great job, all things considered.

After dinner, we tried, for a second time, to go see The Idiot at Hobart & William Smith. The weather tried to prevent us from going, but we persevered through the cold rain (and snow - ok, no snow, just a musical allusion...). It was quite a slog. Mom only stopped fourteen times on the way there - and surprisingly only complained twice! (On the way back, she only stopped once - weird, or what?) I had thought the show was going to be packed - it wasn't. Sadly, I must have been very tired because I kept nodding off through out the performance. Not that the show was bad - I didn't really like the lighting - nor did I grasp the reason behind a lot of the choices - why all of the references and quotes from Alice in Wonderland and what was with the freeze frame that happened 10 times or so. I loved the set - six picture frames suspended from the flies - that were used with great effect. Great costumes, uneven, but ok acting. Now I guess I will have to read The Idiot (again?). Mom liked it overall, which was a pleasant surprise!

There had been tentative plans to get together after the play with a friend downtown. Unfortunately, my email to her vanished into the ether. No wonder repeated checking of my incoming mail revealed no message. To what would she have responded? Sigh. So, late at night, after trying to find the earlier message which apparently got sacrificed to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I wrote another apologizing for my apparent lack of communication. Generally, I loves technology whole bunches. Last night, grrr'd me a bit. Maybe I will get (be given) a second chance. Doubtful, but life is that way sometimes.

Third Epiphany-let

Mom has problems with working the television remote - she gets frustrated by not knowing if she is on the right channel or doing the right thing. Currently, one channel causes the biggest problem - there are two of the same channel - a Digital Version - which currently has nothing being broadcast on it - and the Analog channel which is the correct one. I believe there is a way to delete channels - so I will delete the digital channel 8 and that ought to fix a part of mom's problems. (Turns out, not so easy to do - sigh - need to find the manual - online if no where else - and haven't done that yet...)

This is a different sort of thought - not really an epiphany - I am going to use a huge post-it note - I mean 2.5 feet by 3 feet - and put some important television information on there for mom. That might work. Might not - it depends on whether or not I find my easel - I think it is in the living room. It could, of course, be just about anywhere...(Found it and have a prototype up on it - we shall see if it helps at all)

Yesterday, the new aide came back again. Mom had been in a snit about her. Well, after she came, Mom mellowed out and actually let her help with a shower. Yay! I like having a clean mom. Speaking of which, today is laundry day - again - but I have left it a little long! Eeek! I might need two big machines at the laundromat. And mom is thinking of coming. Yippee.

And if I don't make the deviled eggs today, the darn avocado is going to be rotten. Darn this fresh food thing! Grrr, even.

Mom and I were going to see a play at Hobart and William Smith last night - she got dressed and everything. And we walked all the way over there (Less than a block - don't get me started on taking mom for a walk) (At least I can be pretty secure in the notion that mom will not try wandering off someday...) only to find that I had misunderstood the time - I thought the play started at 7:30 - oops - started at 7:00. So we got there after the play had started. I chose not to try to go in. Mom didn't understand why I refused so adamantly. Does anyone else hate missing the beginning of something and therefore, when possible, choose not to go in? The exposition usually happens in the very beginning and I don't like being in the dark (not literally - I don't mind the dark - but figuratively - not knowing what is going on). Fine, call me weird. We are going to try again tonight. Huzzuh!

More teeny epiphanies from my world

Here's the first teeny epiphany - I was lamenting the fact that when I was marinating my hamburger meat in Worcestershire Sauce (French's, not Lee and Perrin - there is a huge price difference and they taste similar enough for government work...) that I had to put it on and then mix up the meat. I had a the great thought I could put some in the bowl before I put the meat in and then put the meat in and put more on top! Yay! Problem mostly solved!

Another - I fixed a problem I was having with my home computer - not a huge one, but annoying. I have a network here in the house. There are five others in the area that show up on my list. By mistake, one day, I clicked on one of the others. For the past many months, my computer would pick that one first and I would have to go into my wifi settings and choose my network. Well, I read about how to fix this on the internet - and the steps helped but didn't solve the problem. Finally, I just deleted both of those networks from my known list and poof, voila even, my network is being automatically picked now. Phew and hurrah!

There was a third, and maybe it will come to me.

Meanwhile, a little about other stuff (and such). I have been remembering more of my dreams lately. Not sure if it is because of the phase of the moon or my practices before bed or what - or maybe what I eat before sleep (not that I eat before sleep because that is generally thought to be less than healthiest) but those cheetos might have something to do with it... I like remembering my dreams - even partially - makes me feel like my sleeping has not been a total waste of time.

Helped David and The Smith with the sound system yesterday - drove out and back to Phelps for speakers - they love the feel of wind in their woofers - and we set up the wireless mic for the first time. How exciting.

Also went to the Boys and Girls Club and looked at the Black Box theatre. I don't know why, but black box theatres in general make me feel sad. Still, one step closer to doing a show. Speaking of which, I still haven't been "thanked" for my work on Hairspray. When was that? Middle of March? Sigh. I was hoping for that money to buy mom (and me) some birthday presents. Glarg even.

Nope, not remembering the third teeny epiphany. Maybe it will come back to me. Probably not.

Homemade Mac and Cheese a la 'Gustus

Strictly speaking, it wasn't "Mac" and cheese - it was pasta and cheese. Mini wagon wheel pasta and cheese to be precise. I sort of fudged a recipe I found online - changing the milk to half and half and adding some water, I didn't measure the spices (salt, pepper, nutmeg) or the flour (supposed to be half a cup - I think I added a bit more than that). And instead of the bread crumb topping that it suggested, I used Cheddar Cheese and Jalapeño Cheetos. What? On Daily Challenge, we had a challenge a few days back, that suggested that we try a new herb or spice or use a favorite herb or spice on a different dish. So I suggested Mac and cheese topped with one of my "favorite" spices - Cheetos.

A little side note about Daily Challenge, for anyone who has forgotten. I don't know how I got turned onto the site - but somehow I did. It is from meyouhealth.com. The idea is to do a little something for yourself each day to further your well being. There is a general track, which has challenges from all aspects of one's life - physical, emotional, mental. Then they have lots of other tracks that focus on different areas specifically - Happy Back, Lucky Legs, Self Esteem, Money Matters (I don't think these are the names, I am just going for a sense of the types of tracks available). So the idea is that you do the challenge and then mark it completed. Then there is the option of saying how you did it. Sometimes (often) the accomplishment really needs no explanation (yes, I walked a different route to the bathroom) so it seems kind of silly to write anything. Which got me started being silly most of the time. I like being silly. In case you hadn't noticed. In the course of being silly, somehow I brought Cheetos (which I think is a silly item of merchandise) (note I didn't say food...) into my posts, using them in all sorts of, hmm, less than normal or appropriate ways (do not think "bestiality" since that would make Cheetos an animal and I am a fairly certain they are supposed to be (or once were) vegetable). Which led to the above response. Which prompted at least one of my connections on there to ask for pictures when I made the dish. Which brings us to last night. And to today's post.

Anyway, the "mac and cheese with Cheetos on top" turned out pretty well. Yum and yay!

I could have just made this and added Cheetos, but I didn't!

Who knew there were so many Cheetos choices?

Not sure it looks all that appetizing, but it sure was tasty!!

I did end up going out last night but chickened out asking the bartender to hang out. Maybe I will one day - probably won't - but it could happen. Had a lovely time, though, chatting with her and with two other women (one was a new server there and one was a professor from Hobart and William Smith I have seen out and about a few times) (Geneva, as she pointed out, is very small - in a mostly good way...). Yippee!

Small Triumphs

Yesterday was full of small triumphs.

I got the taxes mailed. I don't know why, but I often forget about the post office on the Hobart and William Smith Campus. I feel that I need to walk all the way downtown to get something mailed. But I don't. I can walk across the William Smith green and get my post officing done. Yay! I remembered it as I sat watching mom "sign" her tax returns.

I cleaned out a box yesterday - by which I mean I emptied it out and moved the contents around a bit. Some wires went into the wire box, two electronic components got moved around - not sure what to do with them yet - a box of old films got moved to my room - and I found a box with a computer component in it that could be returned to them postage free. I hope the company even still exists. At least the post office took it - with no return address. Hahahahahahahahaha!

The comfy red office chair I bought back in, hmm, when did I buy that thing - maybe 2000? - finally made it into the study. I exchanged it with the red plastic covered one from the 50s that has lived in there for years and years and years. And years. Mine has better casters and is warmer and has a higher back. Yay! Oh, and I found the stool for the piano - so now I can easily switch from playing xBox to playing the piano! Yippee even.

There might have been a fourth thing, but I can't recall it. Anyway, I watched Up again last night and didn't like it as well as I did the first time. Still good - but not great. I thought the squirrel stuff was a bigger part of the movie than it was. Hmm. Memory is a funny thing.

Mom is on a rant this morning, or is it a tirade, about how evil the new aide is. Sigh. Just going to wait it out and see who shows up on Thursday. Sad that our other aide quit - at least that is according to the new aide.

Tonight, I might be making Macaroni and Cheese with Cheetos. Only time will tell.

Not So Desperately Seeking...

It would be nice to have friends. At least one or two more decent friends. I don't need a bevy of them. Right now, it feels like I have only one friend in Geneva. And he is leaving the area in August. I have lots of acquaintances. No problem making those. And lots of people with whom I am friendly. I am, after all, fairly gregarious. But no one to hang out with once or twice a month. I am thinking of asking a bartender I know if she wants to be friends. Sounds and feels a little desperate to me, though. Problem is, I don't really have a life. And without a life it is hard to create bonds that lead to friendship. Sigh. Most people make friends at their work. Well, my mom is my work for the most part. And others I work with are transient - they come into the Smith and then go on their merry ways. Like a woman I had a crush on (sadly married so I had to stop even having a crush on her). More sighs. Moving on...

Peter and The Wolf is history! Good turnout for their second performance. The show went smoothly - no major goofs that I noticed. And strike went very quickly and smoothly. I mostly coiled microphone cable - and measured it - few of the cables were labeled as to their length. The company and their minions did most of the work of chopping down their big set piece - the tree! And they did a great job of cleaning up after themselves. All in all an easy and good experience with them at The Smith Opera House.

At home, I wimped out, again, on major cooking. I want to make a deviled egg recipe that I found - and haven't managed to accomplish yet. It has been at least a week since I first found it and thought of making it. I did toss some brownies in the oven, though. Go me. And created a dinner of left overs. Yay! I love making a dinner from leftovers. Easy and tasty. Tonight might be another such - though I do have to get some sort of leafy green. Oh, and I want to make macaroni and cheese - a good yummy one - not the kind one gets in a box. And top it with Cheetos. Not because I love Cheetos - I don't actually eat them - but it is a bit of a running joke on My Health.com's Daily Challenge. I sometimes work Cheetos into the answer for a challenge - especially when they have absolutely no reason to be there. The latest was when they asked us to use an herb or spice in a new dish and I suggested using Cheetos as a topping for macaroni and cheese. So I want to do it and post a picture and see if anyone from DC (Daily Challenge, not the Capital of the US) reads that blog post...

Eeek! We get a new home health aide today. I am all a' twitter (not the social media site) about her visit. Will she be someone that mom will get along with? I highly doubt it - so I can hopefully be pleasantly surprised!

How do they do it?

How do they do it? Day after day - the people who work full time and still take care of a loved one full time - without a lot of help? I don't get it. I have been working pretty steadily for the past few days and yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore. Mom's breathing annoyed me. When she spoke, well, I was not at my nicest. I didn't blow up or yell or anything, but inside I was seething. I put Up on television for her and then went and did my own thing till she went to bed.

It is a challenge to juggle mom and The Smith, sometimes. Last night, I thought it would be pretty easy to bring mom to the show. And it was, for the most part. I think round trip from the theatre to the house and back again took maybe 15 minutes. Logistically, it was easy. We ate dinner from Mark's Pizzeria again - still haven't found an entree-like thing from there that she will eat. She does enjoy boneless chicken wings! Yay.

After the show, mom was pretty good for the most part. I was only slightly surprised when mom replied "Parts of it!" to an inquiry from one of the directors of the show whether or not she liked it. She was getting antsy, so I opted to do the lighting changes that are needed today rather than last night.

Overall the show went well. No glaring errors on my part - sound and light. Yippee! And it is a fun little ballet/interpretation of Peter and The Wolf. Well attended, I think - I didn't count the audience but the lower orchestra was pretty well filled.

Ok, a little bleary eyed today. I ended up with only 5 hours of sleep and could use some more. But I really need to get going - take a shower, feed and water mom and head to the Smith for the last day of the show.

Arm and the Man

Isn't there a book with a title like that? I like allusions when I can cram them into my writing. Being me, I looked it up - it is an anti-war play by George Bernard Shaw. Yay, my brain still works. Having my mom to spend a lot of time with, and reading on Memory People, the Facebook support group I belong to, I get afraid that I might be catching Alzheimer's. Phew!

The reason I bring up "arm" is because, as those of you who have known me for a while might recall, my right are was not functioning especially well for months. It felt like it was partially dislocated. I did see my Chiropractor, Puja (what a great name) about it - who told me it was only muscle issues and would work itself out. Which it did. Eventually. Yay! All (mostly) better!

I can lift and pull and stuff again, which makes working at the Smith less painful. Yippee! Raising and lowering drops, lugging stuff, climbing into the rarefied heights to do lighting all are not painful anymore! All of which I did yesterday during the marathon day working on Peter and The Wolf.

It started at 10:30 in the morning with trying to fix the speakers we use for our sound system. The tweeters on all four speakers were not happy. We got two of them apart and replaced them with bigger, stronger replacement parts only to find out that one of them still didn't work. Sigh. Then it turned out that the two smaller speakers also had unhappy tweeters. (No, the speakers aren't users of social media...) Well, poop. This all necessitated me driving out to Phelps and us renting speakers for the production. The four almost didn't fit in my teeny sedan of a Yaris, but they did. I got them back and set up in time for the rehearsal that evening. Yahoo! (Not the search engine.)

Next, I started working on lights, which entailed climbing up into the trees on either side of the auditorium and yelling "Me Tarzan!" Ok, there was no yelling. Just focusing and gelling.

Later in the evening, much, much later, around 10:30 at night, I did a boo boo. Not a horrendous one, it was actually kinda funny. I brought the main rag (The main curtain) onto the stage, only to discover that I had actually brought in the main valance by mistake. Sigh. And without my gloves. Ow. My hands are still a little sore.

All in all, a good day of work at the Smith Opera House. If you are in the area (ha) coming to see SPA's production of Peter and the Wolf wouldn't be a terrible way to spend some time and money! Yippee for supporting the arts!

Long day

It was a long day yesterday, but it worked out. It is weird, isn't it, how subjective time is. That some days are long, and some aren't. Hmm, seems like I have written about that before. Oh well.

I got up early, headed to the Smith and helped with load-in for a production of Peter and The Wolf. The company that is doing the production has been to the Smith many times before, so they knew what to expect and did a great job getting set up. Which meant that David and I didn't have to do much. Well, I did have to raise and lower a few pipes a bunch of times. Great for an upper body workout, which I definitely need. Toothpick arms aren't much of a fashion statement anymore apparently.

Eventually, I headed home for a quick mom visit - a feed and a water. She is pretty good, still, so far, at watering herself, getting herself water, that is. I did make lunch for her. And she came down stairs for it. I think she forgot that she normally doesn't come downstairs for lunch - or at least hasn't recently. When I first came back here from North Carolina in April of 2010, she came down for lunch every day. I think that stopped in the winter and didn't start up again. We shall see what happens, I guess.

Back to the Smith for more helping. David took off to do laundry and eventually came back to spell me (A-u-g-u-s-t-u-s - for those who don't know) while I went and got dinner for me and mom at Ling Ling. I came back and the group was doing a rehearsal. Little did I know that they were actually running the show! Otherwise I might have paid a bit more attention. Life is that way sometimes. David and I spent a little while neatening microphone related things in the equipment room/closet/space. I like organizing other people's stuff! Next, we need to label things! Yay labels! I know I have said it before, but I wish people had labels. Hi my name is Sue, I am 32, non-smoker, uninvolved, I  like baby lemurs. Hi my name is Jason, I am an indeterminate age, non-smoker, it's complicated and I like hockey masks. That sort of thing...bar codes? Q-Scan thingies?

Eventually rehearsal ended, I got a few notes for things to do with lights (which David and I will take care of today, I hope) and I got to close up the Smith for the night. After which I headed to Red Dove for a Stout. When in doubt, have a stout - that's my motto. And a fine motto it is, if I do say so myself.

Today is more theatre work. I am concerned about dinner, but it will work itself out somehow. I hope. I am also concerned about leaving mom alone for so long. I don't know what she does by herself. At least when I am here, I check in on her off and on throughout the day. Sigh.

Seepy

I am vewy seepy! I don't know why. Well, yes, I do. I have only had about 6 hours of sleep. I went to bed latish after watching John Carter. And woke up early because I get to go into the Smith today and start work on Peter and the Wolf. Yippee!

Yes, I watched John Carter. I love Science Fiction. I read the Edgar Rice Burroughs books a long time ago (I think I was 8 or 9). I don't see why it did so badly at the box office. It wasn't terrible at all. The lead actress was very comely and talented. The lead guy was ok. The Tharks looked great. Caeser and Mark Antony both performed well. If you like Science Fiction movies it is worth a look.

Most of the day yesterday was spent at the Eye Center in Candandaigua. Mom has been complaining of not being able to see very well, lately. And she didn't have an awesome time at the previous eye doctor's office, so we went to see a new one. Mary Gerhart highly recommended him. Dr. Hwang. Turns out he went to Andover - about 4 years behind me. Anyway, it was a huge place. I think there are 8 doctors who work there. And the ancillary staff must number in the thousands! (Ok, maybe twenty). We went through three staff people before we were allowed to see the Doctor. Eye testing with modern machines was cool. Physical eye tests that were a lot more pleasant than the puff test and the peripheral eyesight testing cone of doom (I hate both of those machines with a fiery hot passion - so am very glad mom did not have to endure them). During these tests it became clear that mom's right eye was not being much use to her. I hadn't realized just how far gone it was. She could barely see the Big E! Eeeeek! I was afraid that her macular had degenerated or that her retina had fallen off or something terrible. Turns out that it was scarring from her cataract surgery. This apparently happens to 50% of patients who have the surgery. And the treatment - laser zapping! Which Dr. Hwang did for the right eye, right then and right there! Yay! True, mom did complain of black spots for the rest of the day and night, but those are supposed to be gone this morning. We are going back in a few weeks to get the left eye zapped. I don't think Dr. Hwang will let me use the laser, but I would like to! If I had to be in the medical field, I think I might like to do eyes! Or noses...

On the way, both ways, I took care of errands. One was totally selfish - getting my growler filled at Naked Dove - with their tasty porter. Yay. One was maintenance - getting groceries at the Wegman's over there. Which is HUGE! Three times the size of our Wegman's. I must have walked for hours crossing from one side to the other - and I didn't even go end to end!! Things were in the same sort of relative place - but not exactly, so it took me longer to buy my four or five things that it could have. Still, I will look forward to shopping there again one day.

Ok, time to head to the Smith. Stressing over the apparent lack of breaks for food - not for me, I could care less - but for being here for mom and feeding her. Glarg.

Pragmatism?

Yesterday, while mom was getting dressed in clothes that I picked out for her, she announced that there was a bug in her bed! Luckily, it was not a bed bug but a pill pug. I flicked it to the floor and then left the room. Mom asked me what I was doing, as I returned with a manilla folder and a plastic cup. I told her, and proceeded to take the bug outdoors and release it. Mom was worried that it might come back in. I thought that highly unlikely and told her so. As I was taking the folder back to my room for future bug removal duty, I noticed for the first time in three years that the folder was labeled "Pragmatism." Is returning bugs to nature pragmatic? Hmm.

Started reading another of my Elder Care related books. This one, from 2002 - how did I get such an old copy - sure it is used, but still, 2002? That is like the dark ages - and for a book that is a "resource" book, older is not better, generally. I will work my way through it - though I might end up scanning and skimming 'cause I am not finding it all that breathtakingly wonderful so far.

Some of my reading was done while waiting at the dentist's office. Does anyone know any holistic dentists in the Central NY area? By holistic - I mean ones who are focused on saving teeth rather than razing teeth? I have found that most dentists would rather drill and pull than try to save teeth more naturally...sigh. Anyway, we were at the dentist for mom. I worry that she doesn't brush well. Or often. I try to get her to brush at least twice a day...anyway, she got a good bill of dental health for the most part - just needs to brush better according to the dental hygienist - who mom didn't like as well as one she recalls she had a different time. Yay memories!

Meanwhile, I got to work at the Smith again last night. The movie Chasing Ice was being presented. And the main guy from EIS and the primary person behind the film, James Balog, was on hand to give a presentation before the movie and to answer questions afterwards. Which necessitated sound support and lighting support. The way the Smith is currently configured, David couldn't be in two places at once (in the projection booth and at the sound/light station in the middle of the orchestra area) so he asked me if I would help. Which I was glad to do. Always happy to earn a little money rather than pay a little money. So mom got to watch the movie for free! And I got to work a little. Sadly, one of the presenters didn't know how to use a microphone.It is so weird that it actually helps to speak directly into the thing... Still, we managed and survived and everyone seemed mostly happy.

Chasing Ice, although not perfect as a movie, is still a must see - full of great images and very powerful in its visual depiction of climate change. It will be on Netflix in June. There is a book too, but despite mom's subtle hints, we opted not to purchase it. Just what the house needs, one more coffee table book that will be looked at once or twice every 20 years...

Afterwards, I dropped mom at home and headed out to Red Dove Tavern for a beer - invited David, who did come by, had a nice chat with Jessica the lovely bartender. Sarah the server actually spoke with us a bit - probably because David was there. Home, bed, sleep and another day has begun!

Event-filled Birth Day

Here is what my day was like - not over the top, not terrible - just another day in the life...

After not sleeping much, I stayed up and read for a long while. Here is my review-ish of the book I finished: You Say Goodbye and We Say Hello: The Montessori Method for Positive Dementia Care by Tom and Karen Brenner. This is, admittedly, the first caregiver book I have read. As such, it made a good impression on me. Things I liked - it focused on the positive, it had some good activities and suggestions on ways to connect with someone going through dementia and Alzheimer's, it was an easy read (short and fairly to the point). I also liked that each chapter was the title of a Beatles song. Things I didn't like: book design in general was not great - the Guideposts were not as pithy as I would have liked (little bubbles with a "key" thought in them) - sometimes the book was a little repetitive. It also felt like it got thin at the end. Still, all in all, I would recommend it. Now I guess I have to read the other five books I bought. Sigh.

Also, before I was out of bed, the aide service called to tell me that our current aide had stopped working at the agency. Suddenly. I don't know if she quit or was terminated. I hope she is ok, mentally, physically and emotionally! Anyway, that means no aide yesterday. Maybe a new one on Thursday. Not looking forward to breaking in a new one. Sigh. I just hope she is half as good as our previous one was.

Am I the only one who thinks that Kate Middleton is gorgeous? (That was a total non sequitur (my program thinks this is misspelled...) - sorry - surfing while writing...)

I did try to nap off and on throughout the day - but never managed it for some reason. First there was getting up and getting ready for the day. Then getting mom lunch - a sandwich, half a banana, chips and some yellow glop - which is actually orange - sweet potato with butter and brown sugar - she loves the stuff - I know what to feed her when she needs to be fed and doesn't want to eat (when that happens...). Then I headed to the Smith.

There is a movie being shown tonight - Tuesday, April 9 - at the Smith called Chasing Ice. Looks pretty and depressing. The primary person is coming and giving a talk before hand - and the Smith needs to make sure that happens smoothly. So I spent an hour yesterday - not including the hour to download the file - making sure that a Mac could talk to the projector at the Smith and that everything would be pretty easily set up for projection and sound. After having to go to the HWS library to pick up a dongle (I hate that word) that connected my old mac to a VGA cable, everything worked scintillatingly! But it did eat an hour+ of my day. And before I knew it, it was time to make dinner.

I had planned on cooking two things besides dinner. Cooking is used loosely in this situation. The first was hummus - which I did accomplish. Yum! The second was deviled eggs - which I really need to make - but probably won't until tomorrow - that have avocado and bacon grease and bacon bits in them - wow! In other words, I haven't made them yet. Sigh. I did, though, cook a decent dinner - of steak, yellow glop for mom, and artichokes. Two of the big ones that were surprisingly tasty and delicious. Reminds me of when I was in Paris as a youth - on a semester abroad - when I lived primarily on artichokes and fresh made mayonnaise. I alternated that with pizza. Both of which I could get for a dollar. I had spent my discretionary funds on taking some Commedia classes so I had very little money left over to spend on food. Later I learned that the faculty would have been happy to lend me some money. I did earn a little money as a life model - I hope all of those pictures have been burned and that no one was blinded by the sight...I was young, in Paris and just loved living like I was a starving artist, which I guess I was. Anyway, I digress. That was dinner. No cake. That is one of the terrible things about not being in a relationship or having a large network of really good friends here in Geneva - no one to make a cake for me. Maybe I will make brownies tonight. And stick a candle in one. Or maybe just forgo the candle...

After dinner, I decided not to go out. It was Monday in Geneva and the sidewalks are pretty much rolled up and put away anyway. I played a bit on my xBox (gotta love my xBox) and then watched Castle (I don't know why I enjoy that show so much, but I do - maybe it is the tongue in cheek writing - maybe it is the occasional glimpses of Molly Quinn (yes I am a cradle robber at heart) or maybe it is the occasional reference to Firefly!

Then bed. And today, I answered all 80+ birthday wishes on my Facebook page! Warm and fuzzy (like a rotting mushroom with mold on it - how does fungus grow mold? Weird...)

Smith, Mom and Hippo Birdie Two Meese!

The other night, I spent a few hours working at a benefit event for the Smith Opera House. I have spoken of this place many times and will do so more in the future. This evening was a creative event about mostly local artists giving of themselves in support of the Smith. There were spoken word artists, painters and other creative visual artists, an a capella group (local teenagers), a dance performance, two bands and a silent disco (where music is piped to individuals wearing headphones). All in all, it went over pretty well. Not as fully attended as it could have been, but better than nothing. I ran the lights. A new to me sound contractor ran the sound. As usual, I had a good time and the event went smoothly.

On a completely different note, Mom has forgotten who I am, basically. She remembers that I am someone she knows. And vaguely recalls our relationship. She asked me several times recently, "Am I your mother? Am I Karl's mother too?" And then she asks about pa - her husband and where he is. My favorite was when she asked if I was shocked to find out that she was my mother...Wow, I have to be a duck and just let all of this slide off my back and into the all embracing, all encompassing water of the Universe.

Is it wrong of me to limit the amount of time that I spend with mom each day? I can't think that it is. It is incredibly difficult to talk with her for a long time at a stretch. For a few reasons. One is because the conversations are not very interesting. Mom talks about the same things over and over again. Another is because it is painful to me to see mom in this state of emptiness and frustration. A third is because I get frustrated at trying to remember not to ask her to remember things - to just be in the moment and answer each question she asks for the zillionth time as if it is the first time she has asked it. What a great disease. Yippee.

Happy Birthday (Hippo Birdie) to me. I won't have actually been out of the womb for 52 years until 10:54 this evening, but I can start celebrating early. I went to bed around midnight and woke up every hour on the half hour until 5:30. At which point, I figured I might as well just stay up for a while. Finished one of my six new-to-me Alzheimer's/Caregivers books and putzed around on the internet. Great start to the celebrations!

Bibliophile vs. Book-aholic

If I had to describe myself with one of the two epithets - bibliophile or book-aholic - I would have to choose the latter. I don't love books. I don't relish the feel of a book in my hands. I don't love the tactile sensation of turning pages. I like the weight of them in piles around the house. In piles on bookshelves. Boxes stuffed with books that I know I will never read in this lifetime. Books, books everywhere, and nothing at all to read!

I don't see myself stepping into the e-book world enthusiastically or full-heartedly ever. I can see myself reading a book on an e-device, just out of convenience or cheapness. But a hard drive stuffed with books I am not going to read just isn't as satisfying as tripping over books that haven't been touched in 15 years. Sigh.

Which brings me to the package I finally received yesterday. Did anyone else know that FedEx uses the post office to deliver some of its packages? What the F is that? Does the post office get any credit for that? Not that I am aware of...Anyway, I got back from the whirlwind trip to NC to pack up/empty the house there and found that two of the six books on Alzheimer's Care Giving I had ordered were with my held mail. The others, according to Amazon had been attempted delivered on March 27 - while we were away. But the post office didn't give them to me. So I thought that FedEx still had them and would try to redeliver them. One day. Perhaps. In the not too distant future. Well, as the future slipped into the past, I still had not gotten the last four books. So I called Fed Ex. Who explained that they delivered them to the post office who was supposed to deliver them to me. After about fifteen minutes of trying to get through to the Geneva Post Office, the phone finally rang and was picked up by a computer. More time wasted until I could hit 74 (why 74?) to get to the post office. Robyn answered, I know Robin (I just don't know how she spells her name) and went to check for me. Sure enough, the books were there, on a different shelf (what?) so that was why she hadn't handed them to me when I was there over a week ago. Sigh. At least I didn't have to schlep the two minutes (by car) down there and pick them up myself. She had our mail carrier deliver them. Yippee! More books not to read! I am in book-aholic heaven!

I am actually reading one of them and will report on it when I have finished. So far, it is great!

A bit of a control freak

Not a truly huge control freak. I have done a good job of letting go of control wherever and whenever possible. I don't like butting my head against an immovable object. Just not fun.

The other day, I did a teeny bit of a workshop on directing. Sadly, the people who organized the event didn't understand directing, so it was presented almost last. What? Directing comes first - without directing, none of the other stuff is going to happen.  How many shows does a director walk into and the lighting designer says "So, this is what is going to happen. I am going to give you a light blue cyc with some pink light from the front. Go ahead and direct your scene using that light." Um, never. Or the sound guy goes "I am setting up six mics. Your performers are going to stand right in front of them at all times. Got it?" Right. Doesn't happen. It will never happen. Directing is before all of that stuff. That being said of course, many performances/productions etc. happen without a director, but when a director is involved, it is best to include her or him early in the process. Like the very beginning. Whatever.

Going in, I didn't really have much of a game plan. I didn't know who the students were or what their expectations were. Turns out they were four teenagers who were not very focused. I tried to give them a bit of a lecture about what a director does, but that went over like a lead balloon. So I created a quick scene and let them each take a turn at doing some directing. That worked out really well. The kids got engaged and had fun with it. Good to know!

The other area where I am trying to control as little as possible is with my mom. She, as you all probably know, is in the moderate stage of Alzheimer's - in other words, she is getting worse. I control her pill intake - not letting her self medicate if at all possible. Though I do currently let her use eye drops by herself. I have never been good at giving people eye drops. Even myself. I read a terrible story of a woman with AD (the common shorthand for Alzheimer's) who tried to drink hand sanitizer! Eeek! Anyway, I try to keep on top of everything she ingests, at least in the way of pills. Like head ache pills and laxatives. Joy and rapture! In other aspects of her life, I try to give her choices and options. In the early stage of AD, that sometimes worked. In this stage, it rarely does. In fact, she often walks to the bathroom and asks me what she is supposed to do there. Sigh.

Letting go of control works for me, most of the time. Sometimes, well, I just have to take charge. Yippee.

More Bills

Where do they all come from? Goodness gracious. I would like a life without bills, please. Money sucks. And what does money really represent anyway?

That will be my distasteful task of the day! Yippee! I am looking forward to it being done with. Then I can get on with the rest of my exciting day. Playing, puttering and piano-ing. I put my electric piano - one of my best and favoritest purchases from when I was actually flush (meaning having considerable quantities of disposable income) back in the beginning of the century - in the back office, right next to my xBox. I feel I am more motivated to play/practice/learn because the piano is right there.

I took lessons a long time ago - I think for about four years - and like many a kid, was reluctant to practice. My piano teacher took it all in stride, though. I eventually learned to play a bit and memorized a few pieces of pieces. I still remember and can play (mostly) the first part of Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag. Yes, I got hooked on ragtime after watching The Sting. I could play a lot of the music that was used in that film, once upon a time. Now, I can barely struggle through the beginning of Maple Leaf. But I sense some improvement. My goal is to have a repertoire of maybe 10 pieces that I can play without recourse to sheet music. And to be better at "faking." Ok, maybe not better, since I can't do it at all just yet. But someday...

On the theatre front - I heard back from one of the many letters I put out with some good information - she just had forgotten to reply to my message. (Sadly, my thank you note hasn't found its way to her yet - her mailbox is full...) I had, though, already grabbed the bull by the horns and went directly to the horses mouth. (Hmm, weird looking animal that conjures up...) Which is what I did with the second theatre bit as well. We communicated a bit and set up an appointment to meet, only for me to find that mom's dentist and eye doctor appointments interfered with both days that had been offered. Which is ok. I am in no tearing hurry on that project.

Any suggestions on what to read next? I am about to finish the last Rachel Morgan book. Boo!

Nothing Distasteful Yet

Just a quick post before I head out to work. Not arduous work - just a little at the Smith. Teaching some kids about theatre - my part is directing. Sad that it is near last. Whatever - the people organizing and running it don't really know what directors do. So it will be educational for them as well.

I haven't done anything particularly distasteful yet today. I have played a little, not the piano - Video Games - More on this in another post - and I made mom some lunch. Mom's aide is making mom's bed after giving her a shower. She looks so much better after a shower. Sigh. I don't know where her aversion to showering comes from.

Anyway, I am off for now. More tomorrow!

Five out - One Back

I have at least four letters out that I am hoping will produce some useful information. Oops, five. Three are about theatre in the area - how to "bid" for a theatre production at the Geneva High School and how to go about getting to do a show at the, ick, black box theatre at the local Boys and Girls Club (by the way, I just don't like black box theatres all that well - I understand that they are a necessary evil and that there are more and more of them, but I just don't like them)(I prefer theatres with wings and storage areas and fly spaces - call me whacky, I just do.) So far, one is a total non-answer - the second seems like a non-answer at this point and the third - well, I will give him a week - he has been busy not selecting me as one of the new Theatre professors here at Hobart and William Smith. Oh, did I not mention that? I applied for either of two theatre positions here at Hobart. And I wasn't even given an interview. True, I have not been an academic for the past 23 years, but I have done some theatre - and I did graduate from Hobart with a degree in theatre - and do have an advanced degree in Directing (MFA from UT Austin). And my father taught at Hobart. And my mother. Still, not a reason amongst all of those to even give me an interview. Their loss. Moving on. It looks to me like I won't get an answer from any of those three and I will just have to figure out where to go from here.

The other two were inquiries to Organizer types. I hope I can find an organizer who is a little less expensive than the one I used down in NC. Ok, considerably less expensive would be nice. I figure if I can find the right person, we take the house in little chunks and start to organize and weed out stuff. I think the linen closet would be a good place to start - especially since I am about to dump all of my linens in there as well. (One of the organizers just wrote back - we shall see what information gets communicated)

My distasteful task yesterday was moving the lumber that constituted the platform bed that I took apart out of the front hall. I put it all in the garage - another place that could do with a serious bit of organizing. Seriously, there is not a place in the whole house that couldn't stand with a bit of organization. Though the kitchen isn't as bad as it was when I first came here three - eeek - years ago. The eeek was for it being three years already. I imagine I will be here for ten. By that time I will be sixty-ish and ready for a new challenge.

And I ran errands. Bank, Library and Grocery Shopping! Yes, I capitalize them because they are all so very important and earth shattering errands. Yay!

Carousel Microwave

We have a carousel microwave in the kitchen. I use it for this and that - like "baking" potatoes and heating my mom's coffee. That is where my post starts today. It seems like most times I heat the coffee, the handle of the mug ends up turned away from the door. Which means that I have to grab the hot mug to turn it around to get to the handle, sort of defeating the purpose of the handle, n'est-ce pas? (Notice how I tossed some French in there, showing my erudition?!) Well, glarg.

Well, off to a great start of a week. Bills got paid, mostly. Then mom's aide came in. Mom was not very nice to her, so she left, understandably. I guess next time I will have to stay in the room until mom has calmed down a bit. She just likes to push people and see what she can get away with. She doesn't remember that she can be very cutting. Sigh. I guess on Thursday, I will stay with them and be a buffer until mom settles down. Double sigh.

I have my electric piano set-up now. My goal is to play/practice a little everyday. I am very, very rusty in most ways, but in others, it feels like falling off a bicycle.

Today must be errands day. Library, bank, more grocery shopping. And a shower, I definitely need a shower. I wonder what today's distasteful task will be. Maybe sort a box? I have yet to get up the nerve to start taking mom's clothes (and some of mine) to be re-used. I did just contact two de-clutters. Maybe one of them will be reasonably priced - not that the one I used in NC wasn't reasonable considering the motivational factor...we shall see.

Mom Memory - Horseback Riding

Mom walked down the hall and recounted a memory she had. It was from her childhood - not sure when it was. Apparently her mother was raised next door to the heir to the Colgate fortune. As such, she did a lot of things with her - like horseback riding. According to mom, her mother, being her mother, convinced a stableman (I think in Central Park - but I am not sure) to give mom a horse. Mom was not a horsewoman. So when the horse was heading towards a fence, she yanked hard on the reins to stop it from possibly jumping. Inertia is a terrible thing and sure enough mom flew over the horse's head and into the grass, luckily not being wounded. She walked the horse back to the stables - having broken a rein (the horse apparently stepped on it) and I don't think she ever rode again.

Today's distasteful task is bill paying. I pay most of our bills on the first of the month. Yippee. Huzzuh even.

When I put the bed together - the one that I brought up from NC - which I have had since 1998 when I lived in NYC for a year (on 30th and 8th Avenue)(this is just to show that I have had the bed frame for a long time) I managed to put the rails in the highest possible setting - which makes the bed a little like mount Everest to climb onto. Luckily, I have no (or little) fear of heights. Well, no more than is reasonable - like standing on a ledge looking down 30 stories might be a tad frightening. Not that I have done that. Or am planning on doing that any time soon. I think I will make tacos for dinner...

Did I mention that April 8th is my birthday? Gifts are welcome and encouraged (not that I will send any on your birthday)(just being honest)(when I am a zillionaire, I might...)