All About Mom - not really...

This is starting off as a post about Mom  - but I am sure other stuff will drift in - it usually does.

The other night, a few of my mother's personalities were flitting around. Sadly, not the happy, pleasant ones for the most part. There are a few of those. She can be charming, funny, interesting, interested. The other night, not so much.

One of the things that Mom does sometimes is make mean little comments. One is about dying my hair - subtle mom. Another is when she sees someone who is slightly overweight, she calls them fat people. Probably loudly enough to be heard. Sigh. And she likes to try (operative word) to make me feel guilty about doing anything outside of the house. She alternates saying that I need to get out so I can make some friends with telling me that I am abandoning her and leaving her to sit all alone at home. Sigh. She wants me to find a relationship, as long as it doesn't take anything away from the time I devote to her. Double sigh. I don't think she can compute that those are contradictory thoughts. And she thinks my brother looked sickly in the picture in the last note he sent to her. He does look sallow and gaunt, but who wouldn't with the schedule he keeps and three kids under 5 at home. Eeek!

Sometimes, I do think I am evil. I am sympathetic towards my mom most of the time in most ways. She has owies, I bandage them and try to say assuaging things. I try to be sympathetic towards her Alzheimer's. But when we go places, I just have a really, really hard time being sympathetic about her inability to be active. I rationalize this by thinking of the choices that she has made and continues to make about her physical health. She does no exercise and takes no responsibility for her breathing issues after smoking for 40 years. One of my pet peeves is people (I include myself, because sometimes I do it too) who do not take any sort of responsibility for their life and where they find themselves at any given now. I am a huge proponent of the notion that "Life is Choice." And we choose what we can - and live with the consequences. And when something happens about which we seem to have no choice, we still have the choice of how to react to that something.

Moving on. Busy-ish day yesterday. Worked at The Smith doing the lights, sound and slide flipping for the Seneca Seven Run meeting. Fun stuff.

And I actually went out on a Saturday night. Luckily, Microclimate was not crowded - not a big one for crowds, am I. Had a few of my favorite of their beers - Moose Thunder - or Moose Poo - or Moo Poo while chatting with a nice group of people - most of whom work at Hobart and William Smith. Yay! Who knows, I might actually find some adult conversation more occasionally. That would be great! Baby steps.

Watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower last night. Overall I enjoyed it. Might even recommend it, though there were some oddities as well. And some might find it too painful in places. The woman, Emma Watson from the Harry Potter movies, was good - and I thought the guy who played Patrick was the same guy who was in the first 14 episodes of Misfits - but it wasn't. Still good, though.