Bonus Post - Dating Rant take 3(?)

Ok, dating rant time.  I think this might be the third or fourth time, maybe the fifth, that I have ranted thusly. It never gets old for me. It won't get old until I find myself in a romantic relationship. Or end up cremated and my ashes spread over someones breakfast...

As some of you are undoubtedly aware, I would like to be in a romantic relationship. Not everyone does want to be. That being said, I am very happy on my own. I love me, I am great. I am leading a very full and interesting and creative life. Overall, "things" are great. I would, though, like to have someone in my life with whom to share lives. My mom doesn't count in this situation, on many levels and in many ways. Now that we are clear that I am not "needy" or "desperate" we can move on.

I will admit that I am eager to be in a relationship. Although I do enjoy being on the lookout for a potential partner. Sort of. I like having my antennae outstretched, my gal-dar (radar that picks out women in the vicinity) set on high. I love meeting people and getting to know them.

I have written most of a book on Attraction, Sex, Dating and Relationships - as some of you may know. It needs a lot of work to get ready for the public - and that may never happen. The reason I bring is up, is because I have given a lot of thought to these subjects.

Let's start with Attraction: I know what attracts me in a person - in an objective way. What looks, what level of intelligence, what state of mental health. Fine and good to know that. When it comes to actually dating someone, this knowledge doesn't actually mean much. I date who appears and appeals in the moment. I don't hold out for some idealized person who may or may not actually exist (which is why the idea of a soul mate appeals, but is not something I am depending my romantic life's happiness on finding).

So at one point, I did a spreadhseet showing how many people, out of a thousand migth actually be potential romantic partners for me. And they were not encouraging. Basically, since I am somewhat picky (I need to be attracted to my partner - go figure) and I know I am not everyone's cup of tea - despite my many wonderful qualities - I ended up with .5 in 1000. (Lest you think that I am being unreasonable - here is the math:
Most of these are guestimates - the "No Major Issues" includes things like a woman's relationship status and mental health.) (Another aside - I think this math might hold true for most people - unless they a) have no standards or are b) really really physically attractive or are c) really really fiscally fit or worldly powerful.) Which in Geneva, a town of 14000 people, means that there are about 7 people who might be a romantic match for me. That's the good news (I guess). The bad news is - how does one find them?

Right now, my main method is the dating site Plenty of Fish. I write to women who catch my fancy for one reason or another. Most of them never respond. Some that have responded, write to say "no." Sometimes when they write "no" I say to myself "Phew!" Other times I think "Double Phew!" I mean, someone who takes the time to write to say no is something that I don't understand. When someone I haven't written to writes me, I don't say no. I invite them to let us get to know each other, even if every fiber of my being believes that the chances of us being a romantic match are 1 in 6 billion. Why? Because I believe in saying yes, in giving people a chance to show themselves to be good, interesting people. Heck, I might not be a match for them, but someone I know might be a match for someone they know. Anything is possible. Why say no? Life is too short to say no all the time. There are endless reasons/excuses to say no. Too far, too old, too much hair (what they say about me). Sigh. I think you get the point.

Hope springs eternal. Sure, I get sad every once in a while about not having a romantic partner in my life. Then I think of all the good things: socks, pillows, trees and having most of my teeth (my wisdom teeth are long gone...) and I perk right back up again. And who knows, maybe one day, in the supermarket, someone's cart will bump into mine and I will take her to court and sue her for her life's savings! Ah, true "blave."