Monday, January 12, 2015

Fear of feeling fearful - is there a phobia of fear? Phobophibia.

I hope, that as I age, I maintain a modicum of fearlessness. My mom is afraid of everything - including everyday stuff - like breathing and walking and, well, everything. I don't know that I would be able to live in a such a constant state of fear...

My right ear is blocked again. Poo. I will adjust or it will get better or both or neither. Grrr.

When I first came to take care of my mom a few years ago, she was pretty autonomous. Now, I am a little worried to leave her alone for more than an hour at a time - maybe two or three depending on the day - but four makes me really anxious. And I can't really tell her where I am going as a) she just forgets and b) gets anxious if it is someplace new. OK places for me to be going are: grocery shopping and The Smith. So if I am headed out for whatever reason, I am doing one of those two things in her mind. Luckily, right now, there isn't a lot happening at the Smith, so I don't need to be there for long stretches of time. We shall see what happens come the Spring.

I took most of the day off from the puzzle yesterday. I got a couple of pieces put together and a couple of pieces added to the pieces already attached in the puzzle - but not the leaps and bounds that occurred in the past few days. Moderation and patience - always working on those two "virtues."

The Smith did get a bit of my time yesterday. One of my projectionists was really, really late. Got there at 1:45 when he was supposed to be there at 1:00. Sigh. So I got to go in and be there for a while. Which was a good thing, since it seemed like he had also forgotten how to run the movies. Double sigh.

Oh, I did get to Lake Drum's chocolate and beer and BYOV (bring your own vinyl) event. Sadly my copy of Court of the Crimson King is totally messed up. Maybe all of my records are. I don't know. I haven't actually played many of them since, well, for a long, long time. Why the heck am I holding on to them still? Silly Augustus. Speaking of which, I did decide to let go of some plastic baggage that has been accumulating for years and years (and years and years).




But I got away from my subject. There was quite a crowd at Lake Drum - especially for a Sunday afternoon. My enjoyment was spoiled a little because of my ear being stuffed up. We early muggers got a yummy taste treat as well - I think I posted a picture of it on Instagram - pulled pork plus! The taste of chocolate was pretty yummy, chocolate with bacon. I did think that there would be more chocolate tasting than just the one little tidbit, but there wasn't. The tasting of beers that Victor and Jenna shared more than made up for it, though!

I didn't end up buying any of the chocolate that was for sale. Lake Drum was out of the beer I have been partaking of there most recently, so I made do with the Smoked IPA.

Next stop yesterday, grocery store. Yippee! I love going to the grocery store. Is that acutely weird?

I spend a lot of time on Facebook. And recently on Instagram as well. And I comment and "like" a lot of posts. I do worry (a teeny bit) that people get tired of me always writing on their posts. But I like to feel like I am actually engaged in something, rather than just sitting here passively and not interacting. If they don't want their crap commented on, don't post it. Anyway...

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