Just undateable?

(To the tune of Unforgettable)
Just un-date-able, that's what I am
Just un-date-able just like a clam
Like a smell of dove that clings to me
How the thought of me does things to thee
Never before has someone been more

Just un-date-able in every way
And forever more, that's how I’ll stay
That's why, people, it's incredible
That someone so just un-date-able
Thinks that I am un-date-able too


I have come to realize that I may be un-date-able. This is just an observation. The way the notion came up was someone mentioned that a guy who wore a fanny pack - or anything on their belt - was un-date-able. Maybe it was on a TV show - a sitcom even - which, as we of the TV generation know, is the font of all cultural wisdom. In any case, this is the first reason I am un-date-able - I wear my camera on my hip and have for a few years now. The second reason I am un-date-able is because I am unemployed. Sure, there is potential for me to be gainfully employed, but I am not. The mention of that has turned many budding romances into scenes of women fleeing before the tab comes. The third reason is appearance. Right now I am in super hirsute mode. I have a beard and my hair is getting longer by the second. There are very few men with long hair just now and even fewer women who like men with long hair. And unkempt beard has never been very popular. The final reason I am going to enumerate here, cause there are probably many more, and I just don’t want to list them, is that I am picky. I know, weird. I really would like to date someone that I find appealing and attractive. Sue me. So there we have it. Undateable.

Then again, I’m a Great Catch
I am a great catch, if I must say so myself. Or I could get my mom to say so. She thinks I have enough positive attributes to put me in the great catch category. I am healthy. I am smart. I am funny. Ok, maybe not a good catch, but not a bad one either...

I think I have forgotten how to date. Or how to ask people out. And after that, how to move to actual romance. And sex. And a relationship. Sad, but I think it has happened. I certainly haven’t been picking potential partners perfectly (ok, I mean “well” - I just wanted one more “p” word for the alliteration). I thought one woman was appealing, and she thought I wasn’t. Full stop. Another woman who appeals on many levels just wants to be friends. Hey, there is nothing wrong with friends. It would just be nice to be in a companionable relationship where sex is an option. And maybe even a long term relationship if possible. Sigh. Maybe other people are less picky than I am about who they date and who they get into a relationship with. Heck, I don’t even know where to meet appropriate women. I meet inappropriate women all the time. Not that it matters because even the inappropriate ones have no interest in dating me. At least, not that I can tell. My last long term relationship ended 4 years ago. Wow, scary when it is in black and white. Since then I have had a few dates, and maybe a short fling, but nothing longterm, nothing serious. The universe is as the universe is.