Christmas Eve 2011

Where is my Grinch costume? It would have been awesome to go shopping yesterday wearing that. Sigh. It is probably in the house in Clayton. I could have picked it up when I was there earlier this month, but I didn't. Poop! That is one of the problems with having multiple abodes. Just like in Skyrim. Unlike in the game, though, one cannot "fast travel" between locations. Oh well, maybe next year. When I am in the Grinch costume, well, I can't breathe, so I feel a little light headed the whole time. But I am also fairly fearless. Heck, I am anonymous when I am wearing that mask and costume. It would have been good yesterday, as I saw a woman I was too fearful (yup, fearful) to talk to.

I hate it when I succumb to fear. But it happens. Mostly I am fairly fearless, or at least I like to think so. Ok, if not fearless, I tend towards feeling the fear and then choosing how to proceed: No, this is a silly fear, must push forward (like I ought to have done yesterday) or yes, this is a rational fear, don't argue with the nice man with a gun and just give him your money. (Not that I have, thankfully, ever been in the latter situation and hope to never be...) Not jumping out of a plane is not a purely fear based decision, for example. It was a couple of fears yesterday - the same old ones - and why are they so strong? Fear of rejection of course is the primary one. And yes, I know that rejection won't kill me. But a petit-mort is still a mort...

So, despite that little hiccup, I had a lovely Christmas Eve - which is when we tend to celebrate in our family. Both my brother and sister were born on Christmas Eve. I think this kinda sucks for them, as they don't really get a separate celebration of their births. But they have managed to survive all these years. Anyway, the day part was fairly normal. Fixing lunch, puttering around, that sort of thing. I headed out to do some grocery shopping at around 4. Picked up some last minute food items which I will use today instead of last night as I had originally planned. Then picked up a bottle of Cream Sherry so that I could make a sauce for the Brussels Sprouts that we are going to have for dinner tonight. And then a brief trip to Wal-Mart - where I didn't speak with the woman buying a present for a child - and bought a mirror for over the kitchen sink. I have misplaced the one that Ernst put up  years ago. I am sure it will turn up eventually, but mom was jonesing for one. Next stop, Beef and Brew. I wanted to keep Lorraine company for a little bit since it was going to be a slow day for her. I got there to find that she had a table of 7! And while I was there, two more small groups came in! So I didn't really get a chance to chat with her too much. I did get to meet Mike's sister and another of his friends. And my main reason for being there, was to wait until Wing Tai had our Peking Duck ready.

Picked that up, came home and started to think about how to proceed through the evening's festivities. I decided that we would have hors d'oeuvres and open presents and then have dinner and watch Holiday Inn, one of my two favorite holiday movies - the other being It's A Wonderful Life - though the cartoon version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas is right up there on the list...And that is how the evening progressed. Mom and I were lavishly gifted by our relatives! Mom sent someone something, but other than that, we were not as good to them as they deserve. One year, we will do better again. Surely. We can't do much worse...Anyway, we opened presents, ate cheese and mussels and black olives (mom's mom's favorite food apparently). Then, though we were full, we each ate some Peking Duck and watched Holiday Inn. Just as good as I remembered.

While the movie was playing, our family called! Not being much for speaking on the phone at the best of times, I let mom do our talking for us. Juliet, Ernst, Betty and Karl all got to speak with mom.

After the movie, I was exhausted. I didn't make any of the food that I had planned. Oh well. Bed was good enough for me. Sadly, I didn't think of making mom a Christmas stocking until this morning. If we are still here next Christmas, I will do better. I think mom had a good time - she thanked me profusely at least. We shall see what Christmas Day has in store for us!

Happy Christmas to one and all!

Photos from Christmas Eve, December 24, 2011:

See, a dusting of snow!

Our Christmas Snacks

The tree with unopened presents!

Mom in her festive velvets!

Mom's largest present - from Joe and Ginger

Fireplace on the TV

Fear is the Mindkiller

So, my brain is a little dead now and again. I am afraid, off and on (I try not to dwell on fear causing thoughts) about a lot of things. All in the future - so they aren't really worth being afraid of. That being said, I just thought I would share.

I guess what I am most fearful of is what happens when mom can't be left alone by herself in the house. And what to do about that eventual eventuality. I hope it isn't for a long time yet, but apparently I need to be prepared for it. I worry about money, since I have so little coming in. And expenses just keep increasing. Sigh. And of course there are other things - like ending up in a similar way to my mom - I wonder what it feels like to lose one's ability to remember. And to be alone - without a significant other. I know we are all alone really, but still, it would be nice to share that aloneness with someone. :) I think couples live longer, don't they?

Gee, that was pleasant.

Ok, moving on. Yesterday was another day. And tomorrow will be too.

Yesterday, all my troubles...anyway - we successfully navigated all of our errands. Huzzah! Mom had her 10 minutes with Dr. Ryan and was not, as usual, thrilled with his attentiveness or lack thereof. I didn't go in with her since I do not have a health power of attorney yet. Next time - in four months, I will. Nothing too drastic was reported to me by mom - for what that is worth. Next was the library, where we once again were surprised to learn that mom has misplaced a couple of library books. One has subsequently been found! Yippee! Post office, nothing too exciting there. And we stopped in to see Morgan, the bartender. She had not practiced juggling! Although the visit was pleasant, I left feeling vaguely dissatisfied with the experience. I think mom had a good time, sipping her soda water and chatting with people. We met the sons of the Registrar from Hobart.

We had Mark's Pizzeria Pizza for dinner last night. Not scintillating. Glad to have experienced it but probably won't go that road again for a few years. Then the opera meeting. Suzanne needs someone to help her, so that is what I will do. I have offered to help in any way that she needs. We aren't communicating about the opera again until early July, so it is still mostly unclear to me what she expects, but I am ok with that. I will get my makeup book from Clayton, but other than that, no clue. Oh well. It will just be good to be participating in a production again!

Tomorrow, mom and I head to NC. I am not really looking forward to the trip - the drive especially. Posting may be lumpy, so please bear with me!

Pictures from June 22, 2011:


One of the myriad reasons I like my iPhone is for the ability to take stealthy pictures - like this one - I am not practiced at it enough to try it on people but maybe one day...


This was puffy pizza - not my favorite - but yummy enough.


Love, love, love this tree! I took four or five pictures of it yesterday!


There is just something amusing about this tree to me. And a little sad and droopy...